Last week I was on a train that killed someone. We all hear about suicides on train lines, they seem to be happening more and more, but actually being on the train that struck a person has had a profound effect on me. It’s got me thinking about how everyone has something going on in their life that they’re battling with, and how we can all probably afford to be a little kinder and less involved in our own busyness and drama.
I’m the first to admit that I can get caught up in my own life – with a baby and toddler, plus a business to run, I sometimes feel as though no-one else is as busy or as tired as I am. But that’s rubbish, and I know it.
What’s become very apparent to me over the last week is that so many people are fighting their own battles, or dealing with situations that make their life challenging, sad or damn right difficult. What I’ve also noticed though is that, despite the drama’s that are going on, so little is said about them. We’re taught to try and be positive, to stay upbeat and not to whinge, and so many of us do a really good job of that.
BUT …. sometimes it’s good to tell someone, anyone, that you’re having a tough time. It’s good to off-load, to get help, or to just talk through something that’s troubling you. It’s OK not to always have your ‘shit together’ or be totally in control.
How many times have you said you’re fine when really you’re not? How many times have you heard someone else say they’re fine when you thought they weren’t? It happens everyday.
I get that it’s good to just mull things over in your own mind, or to take some time to process without having other opinions and ideas cloud how your feel. And sometimes you just need to have a down day where you wallow in whatevers happened, and then pick yourself up and move on.
But in a world where so many of us are exceptionally busy, I personally feel like I need to make more time to notice what’s going on around me on a deeper level, instead of just hearing the ‘fine’s’ and assuming everything’s OK.
The R U OK Foundation is a fabulous initiative dedicated to encouraging all of us to regularly and meaningfully ask ‘are you ok?’ to support those struggling with life. Whilst there’s a designated day once a year where we’re encouraged to ask this important question, this is definitely something I want to do a lot more of, and significantly, tune in to what ISN’T being said.
So today there are no 5 point plans to follow or actions to take other than to think about the people around you and consider that you might not know what’s going on for them right now. Be kind, be supportive, ask the question, and watch out for those little signs that tell your gut something’s wrong.
Written by Faye Hollands – Director at Outshine Consulting
Faye is an accomplished Career Coach, Small Business Coach and Productivity Specialist who has successfully coached countless clients on how to create a career they love, get more done in less time, and achieve personal and professional success.
You can contact Faye on +61 2 8323 4335 or email email@example.com
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