How To Get More Of What You Want – And Less Of What You Don’t!

Published: March 12, 2010
By: Faye Hollands

If I tell you NOT to think of a blue tree, what are you thinking of now?  I guarantee it’s a blue tree.  No, I haven’t gone crazy – there’s a very  good point to my madness today!  You see, when we tell ourselves NOT to think about something that’s exactly what we end up focusing on, which can cause some very real problems when it comes to being successful in life…

Say It How You Want It

How many times have you told yourself NOT to do something?  Perhaps you’ve found yourself saying some of these things : –

  • I don’t want to be fat
  • I don’t want to work late
  • I don’t want to be poor
  • I don’t want to miss the bus
  • I don’t want to get drunk
  • I don’t want to be single
  • I don’t want to smoke anymore

The problem is that your subconscious mind isn’t able to process negative’s i.e. don’t and can’t, so when you tell yourself NOT to think of a blue tree, your mind skips past the ‘don’t’ and focuses on exactly the one thing you’re trying to stop thinking about – a blue tree!

So if you want to lose weight for example, and you regularly think about not wanting to be fat, your mind will delete the ‘don’t’ and instead concentrate on BEING FAT.  The problem is that we generally get what we focus on so it’s highly likely you’ll find yourself putting on weight even though that’s the last thing you actually want.

So what can you do about this?  Firstly, it’s important to listen to what you’re saying and recognise when you’re using negative words – self-awareness is the first step forward.

It’s then important to reframe the negative phrases you’re using so that you focus your mind on what you DO want and away from what you DON’T want.  So the phrases above can become: –

  • I don’t want to be fat > I want to be fit and healthy
  • I don’t want to work late > I want to be home on time tonight
  • I don’t want to be poor > I want to have financial freedom
  • I don’t want to miss the bus > I want to be on time for the bus
  • I don’t want to get drunk > I want to stay sober
  • I don’t want to be single > I want to find a loving relationship
  • I don’t want to smoke anymore > I want to have healthy lungs

Remember:  Life is like a refrigerator – you only get out of it what you put in, so be consciously aware of the language you use so that you feed your mind with positive thoughts and images to attract what you DO want into your life and away from what you DON’T want.

Would you like to learn how to manage your career and life smartly? Book your free 30-minute coaching consultation now – simply click here to schedule your appointment.

Faye Hollands

About Faye Hollands

Faye is an accomplished Career Coach, Small Business Coach and Productivity Specialist who has successfully coached countless clients on how to create a career they love, get more done in less time, and achieve personal and professional success. To receive weekly articles to improve your career, business and time management skills click here or book your Free Focus Session here.

You can contact Faye on +61 2 8323 4335 or email

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *




Free Download

"How To Create A Career You Love"

Get the best career, productivity and small business coaching tips straight to your inbox every week, plus our eBook 'How To Create A Career You Love' (worth $37.00) free when you subscribe.

We respect your privacy. You can remove yourself from the mailing list at any time.
or skip signup