Being A Hero Isn't Always Smart

Published: September 27, 2011
By: Faye Hollands

Last week I was on my usual crusade to be a hero – single-handedly trying to prove to myself that I could do it all.  However, this time I came painfully unstuck, and when my stress levels hit an all-time high it became very apparent that my mission to take on the world needed a tweak or two.  If you’re a bit adverse to asking for help, can have a tendency to be a martyr, or are simply a control freak who feels they need to do it all, listen up….

Cringe-Worthy Mistake

OK, so my stressful scenario wasn’t exactly serious – I was at the hairdressers and my daughter decided to scream the place down.  Not life threatening per say, but watching the other clients cringe as I desperately tried to pacify Charli, hoping and praying that she’d be quite for an hour or so more, left me feeling like the world was about to end.   It was highly embarrassing, highly stressful, and significantly not a situation I want to put myself in again.  So why did I do it in the first place?

Well here’s the issue. I don’t like to ask for help.  I prefer to try and do everything myself, and even when the task defies logic (a few hours in the hairdressers + 9 month old baby …. does not equal peace, quiet and relaxation!) I push on.  Sometimes it works, but this time it didn’t.

I guess this headstrong approach has served me well over the years, BUT there’s a fine line between being strong and being stupid.  My decision last week was most definitely the latter, especially since I have a heap of friends who would happily look after Charli for me.

So what did I learn from this cringe-worthy experience? The golden nugget is that it’s time to stop trying to do it all.  As my parents used to say, “it’s not big and it’s not clever!”.  Asking for help, enlisting the assistance of others, and admitting that you can’t – and don’t need to – do it all, is really OK.    In fact, it’s actually the smart option.

It’s good to push the boundaries, get out of your comfort zone, and nudge yourself forward.  But there’s a big difference between a personal mission to take on the world at all costs, versus a smart plan of attack to reach your goals effectively.  And it doesn’t matter if your mission is to get your hair cut, find a new job, or build a business – trying to do it all is not always the best option, and in fact, the most successful people in the world today got to where they are with the help of others.

So where in your life are you trying to be the hero, and do you think enlisting the assistance of others might help you achieve your goals more successfully? Make a pact now to ask for help and learn from my mistake!

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Written by Faye Hollands – Director at Outshine Consulting. Faye is an accomplished Career Coach and Productivity Specialist who has successfully coached countless clients on how to create a career and business they love, get more done in less time, and achieve personal and professional success.

To receive your FREE MP3 download of Faye’s popular teleseminar ‘How To Create A Career You Love‘ and weekly articles to improve your career and time management skills click here.

Faye Hollands

About Faye Hollands

Faye is an accomplished Career Coach, Small Business Coach and Productivity Specialist who has successfully coached countless clients on how to create a career they love, get more done in less time, and achieve personal and professional success. To receive weekly articles to improve your career, business and time management skills click here or book your Free Focus Session here.

You can contact Faye on +61 2 8323 4335 or email fayehollands@outshineconsulting.com

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One Response to Being A Hero Isn't Always Smart

  1. I’m so with you Faye! I did exactly the same thing with my little one when he was about the same age and it was an hour and a half of hell – needless to say I haven’t done it since! I’m very much like you and have always found it hard to ask for help, but a baby and a business mean that I have had to learn pretty quick. While I still have the odd meltdown, since hiring an assistant earlier this year I have been able to delegate the tasks that don’t require my personal input and have been able to focus on growing and marketing my business which is so much more enjoyable and rewarding. That in itself gives me more time with the family which is ultimately what it’s all about. I think sometimes it’s good for us crazy females to slow down, take stock and realise that none of us are Superwoman, even though we like to think we are. And that’s okay 🙂

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