How To Escape The Yes Trap

Published: December 1, 2015
By: Faye Hollands

How many times have you fallen into the trap of saying yes to something when you really should have said no?  We’ve all done it from time to time, but that doesn’t make the feeling of regret that you get afterwards any better! If that sounds like you it’s time to make some simple changes to escape the ‘Yes Trap’ asap…

If you’ve fallen into the ‘Yes Trap’ where you’re agreeing to things you’d rather not be doing it’s really important to establish some key boundaries in your personal and professional life which can act as a guide to help you make the right decisions easily, instead of ending up feeling compromised when you say yes instead of no.

So if you want to get yourself out of the ‘Yes Trap’ here are the 3 steps you need to take to nail the nerve to say no: –

1.  Take Advantage Of Hindsight

Firstly, learn from your mistakes and get to know yourself a bit better.  It’s important to recognise what motivates you to say yes even when you want to say no!  Ask yourself: –

  • When was the last time I said yes when I wanted to say no?
  • What was I fearful of losing or missing out on by saying no?
  • Who did I want to impress?
  • In hindsight, was your decision rational or did you regret it later?

2.  Stand Up For Yourself

If you don’t set boundaries you’ll simply waste time and wind up feeling frustrated and unhappy with your decisions.  You need to determine a clear set of guidelines that help you navigate making a decision so that you don’t say yes when you feel under pressure!

Think about what’s important to you and what you truly value in your personal and professional life.

Your values act as a compass to your life and when you know what you truly  value making decisions becomes much easier, along with saying no!

3.  Buy Yourself Time

Often we say yes to something in the heat of the moment because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to make an informed and objective decision.

Where possible, ask if you can respond or RSVP later so that you can consider your answer in line with your boundaries and values, and ultimately so that you don’t regret the answer you give.

Faye Hollands

About Faye Hollands

Faye is an accomplished Career Coach, Small Business Coach and Productivity Specialist who has successfully coached countless clients on how to create a career they love, get more done in less time, and achieve personal and professional success. To receive weekly articles to improve your career, business and time management skills click here or book your Free Focus Session here.

You can contact Faye on +61 2 8323 4335 or email

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